THE SHOPPING SPREE NIGHTMARE

MONSTER STORIES Today the metropolis was unusually blessed by a beautiful sunshine and warm springtime humidity that I found it some what difficult to resign to the studio. Pushing my papers aside and unplugging the machine, I grabbed a little cash a set out for the streets. I'd barely any plans, likely an organic brew, but I knew the inkling that my excited activity could only be nourished by some sort of shopping spree. I often find the act of searching through products and stores to be an invigorating and amusing pass time. I haven't any friends and no business to speak of, therefore my inclusion in spending gives me a deep sense of purpose.

I find the sequence of events necessary to make a purchase quite thrilling. I'll leave my house, move through transit, and arrive in a place where other people are. It makes me feel happily human. Then when I get into the shops, all the surreal colours and choices! I can reject and collect whatever I fancy. I may file through records or racks of new fashions or purchase some food stocks or maybe an improvised treat. The shoe store is fun but not so much as the general centers. Here you can ask people questions and peruse to no end. It is absolutely exhilarating when a package jumps off of the shelf and lands in my hands. Only some amount and 99 cents with all sorts of wonderful graphics and promises!

Sometimes I don't even bring my new toys home. If I've forgotten their importance or they become to much to handle I'll simply toss them aside and wait for my next inclination. Isn't it wonderful enough to just buy things! Some of the stores even play loud music and have sparkling lights with magazine cut outs inviting you in. If you come across such a magnificence you simply have explore.

I happened upon one such outlet on this afternoon's adventure. It was an enormous mega-establishment specializing in products with fancy packages all of which were either endorsed by celebrities or as seen on TV. I knew that this was my station. I strolled past the electronic greeter beaming with the utmost of confidence. Here I would shop and impress all that could see. I was certain that my social standings were about to be greatly enhanced as a result of my boisterous and skilful consumerist display . Yes, I knew how to shop, of that I was most confident.
Entering the isle ways I was quickly taken aback by a striking design. It appeared like a golden boulder sitting upon a pile of dull gravel. For a moment I worried that this was too good to be true and concerned myself deeply that my shopping may have ended to soon. Yes I wanted it, I'd heard of it, it was original, unique and entirely for me! No other parcel, nor package on any of the other shelves retained visibility. It was like me and the product were alone at a decadent ball. The muzak accelerated with a strange symphonic majesty and all of the lights in the store seemed to dim around us. I reached out in an instant, that lasted forever, and took hold of the box with the most joyous delight.

With the product now firmly gripped in my hands the entire store around me and my purchase turned pitch black. Standing in awe of the spotlight and my discovery, I surmised that this must be one of those retail promotions and that I had been made a champion. The proprietor and the public witnessed my extravagance and intended to reward and praise me for my expert consumerism. I knew that someday my genius would be celebrated for I was a shopper among shoppers in the highest degree! The excitement elevated beyond my control as electric currents surged from the insides of my teeth. Then in a kaleidoscope frenzy of logos and promos the entire room disappeared.

I saw a factory full of peoples from far away places. I saw an armed soldier shuffling them in and out through wired gates. I saw a smoke stack and a river coiling with fear. I heard the engines of planes, trucks,and trains bursting my ears. I saw a group of suited creatures, situated around a long desk, each laughing and arguing with uncensored jest. Then I saw the studies, and findings of man, mass hypnosis, manipulated senses and of the wars in their plans. I saw my product reproduced and purchased by many and finally a garbage dump and transference of each penny. The metal money was melted and churned into weapons and before my purchase expired ten new ones had crept in.

Dizzily stepping backwards I bumped into another shopper who grunted at my unintentional obtrusion. I politely apologized excusing my self and turned towards a coveted position in the lines. Everything seemed normal again. I resolved that my vertiginous spell was likely caused by an empty stomach, unconsciously attempting to refute any possibility of the event being a side effect of shopping. Proceeding to the cashier I placed my purchase on the counter. "Cash or Credit?”. I hesitated, looked down at the product, and before I could answer with I found myself running down the wet and thunderous streets in a state of cursed terror frantically seeking an advertisement-free route home.

A SURREAL COMICS SHOPPING SPREE is a part of the new HEY APATHY! "13 Illustrated Monster Stories" ink drawing series. The entire collection of surreal comics features 13 strange and varied tales of post apocalyptic uncertainties. The new works are drawn entirely with black India on white paper and are accompanied by unusual hand written accounts regarding the illustrated absurdities. 

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